Friday 9 March 2012

Misyar Marriage ( Travelers’ Marriage or Marriage of convenience)

A Misyar Marriage is a unique Sunni Muslim innovation. Marriage institution allows for a lesser form of relationship between man and woman than normal marriage, zawaj.  Misyar marriage is defined as an official marital "relationship" between a man and a woman who do not live together, and where the husband is not financially responsible for a Misyar wife.

the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives in cases of polygamy, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money ("nafaqa"), and the husband's right of homekeeping, and access.

Misyar can be a temporary arrangement, but unlike the Mut'a marriage, which ends on the expiration date of the contract, the Misyar has no certain date for divorce, and it is up to the man to divorce his wife whenever, or if ever, he feels like doing so.

The difference between a Misyar marriage and a normal marriage, is that the couple does not live in one household but remain on a visitor's basis.

Misyar allows the man to have a normal wife in a addition to his misyar-wife(s). The misyar wife is expected to live with her parents, and her husband can visit her according to a predetermined schedule. for sexual relations.

For the women who accept it – spinsters, divorcees and widows – it's a something-is-better-than-nothing option, though they waive almost all the rights that a normal Muslim marriage entitles them to. For men it offers an opportunity for a bit of fun on the side, in secret, and at a huge discount.

The need for this type of marriage is, in part, the result of economic reality. In Egypt, most young men cannot afford to get married and support a wife and long engagements are common. A Misyar marriage allows him to marry a girl who then stays with her parents. The bride's parents feed and maintain her, and they meet on occasion for sexual relations.

Misyar marriage has been practiced in Saudi Arabia and Egypt for many years. It was legalized in Saudi Arabia by a fatwa issued by Sheikh Abdel Aziz bin Baz and was officially legalized in Egypt by the Egyptian Sunni Imam Sheikh Mohammed Sayyed Tantawi in 1999. The Mufti of Egypt is a staunch defender of Misyar marriage.

The practive of Misyar marriage is often different from the original intent for creating this institution. Wealthy Kuwaiti and Saudi men sometimes enter into a Misyar marriage while on vacation. They believe that this allows them to have sexual relations with another woman without committing the sin of adultery. They travel to poor countries, such as Egypt or Syria, and meet middlemen who arrange the marriage for them. Some men arrange Misyar marriages online. The middleman brings some girls and they pick the one that they like most. These men pay the girl's family some money.

Families agree to the arrangement because of the money and the hope that their girl will have some fun and visit places that she can only dream about (i.e. luxury hotels and restaurants). They also hope for some gifts and at the end of the vacation and that the rich "husband" will give her some money and divorce her (although divorce was not a part of the fatwa which created Misyar marriage). Sometimes the husband keeps the wife for next vacation and sends her some money now and then. Many Misyar wives hope to win the love of their husbands so that they may live with them. Since the wife knows that she will most likely be divorced, but she does not know when, most Misyar wives take care to prevent pregnancy.

“Unfortunately, misyar marriage has made it easier for irresponsible, immature individuals to enter a relationship that is supposed to be based on credibility, reliability and respect,” said Abu Zaid, an elderly marriage official. “This isn’t the case. It’s treated as a temporary solution for lust. That’s not what marriage is all about. In regular polygamy all wives have exactly the same rights over the husband, be it financial, be it regarding time spent together or being public. Women think that misyar marriage is for their benefit when in fact on a long-term basis, they pay the price and not just from their pockets but from their emotions, as well.”

Many parents and children of misyar wives stated that they felt the woman as being sold short in such a marriage. Parents mostly said that the only reason they accepted the situation was in recognition of their daughters as adult women with their own needs and their right to respond to such needs. “I begged my divorced daughter not to marry a suitor who proposed a misyar marriage,” said Abu Fahda. “At the end, I gave in because I didn’t want to be the reason for her having an unlawful relationship with a man. I’m an adult, and I know she has her needs, but I’d be lying if I said that I have any respect for this stranger who comes to my house for intimacy with my daughter. I even have trouble looking her in the face,” he said. “My neighbor’s niece was married misyarically for a while, and then when the husband was done with her he just left her — just like that.”
Abu Fahda’s grandchildren share his sentiments — especially sadness. “I don’t know who this man is — this man who comes to our house and spends time with my mother,” said the 6-year-old boy. “He’s not my father, and he can’t be her husband because fathers and husbands live with their families.”

Conclusion:

1. Misyar often called travelers’ marriage, or a marriage of convenience is a form of temperory marriage.

2. The woman let goes here rights like the right to maintainance etc.

3. The man and the woman both stay at their respective houses and the man visits the woman for sexual satisfaction as and when needed or as per a pre determined shedule.

4. The man in no way is responsible for the upkeep of the wife and all he has to pay him is the agreed upon dowry.
5. It has been legalised and is widely practiced in Saudi Arabia and Egypt.

6. Travelers from Saudi and rich countries visit poor nations and perform misyar for sexual satisfaction.

7. 90% of misyar marriages end in divorce.

8. The husband is neither legally bound to maintain his wife nor is he legaly bound to divorce her, this reduces the status of a woman to that of a sex slave. (One time downpayment and lifetime enjoyment)

9. If the husband leaves her wife (as is the case with almost 90% of misyar marriages) without divorcing her then there is no one to take care of her and her children and neither can she marry again as the husband has not divorces her.

10 . In misyar marriage the wife is at the sheer mercy of her husband, without any rights.

11. In short  a misyar marriage can be summarised as “ Why buy the milk when the cow is free”.

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